worst exerience on the trail

[AGENTGRAPE]

my worst was riding in mesa arizona with my cousin in early may we went out early with some of his friends it was only 97 degrees at 7:45 am for a 15 mile ride in the desert. i sucked a 100 oz bladder dry less thna halfway out . i swear i could feel my brain swelling up in my mellon. we finally made it out i drained everyones camelbacks and still felt dizzy it was 117 degrees in the parking lot when we got back and was told it wasnt that hot yet. luckily it was cinco de mayo so many icy cold ones and several cocktails later i didnt feel so bad well at least i didnt crash during the ride if it was in the winter it would have been a great ride

[I Are Baboon]

This past summer, I remember one day in particular that was a bad, bad ride. It was hot and I had zero energy. I couldn't even push my bike, let alone ride it. I kept getting lightheaded and had to rest every 1/4 mile or so. I sucked down most of my water within the first 30 minutes of the ride. I think the whole nasty experience was a result of not eating enough food the two days before and not being properly rested. Lesson learned!

[gungywump]

I was riding Guidas(Middlefield, Ct.) back in '92. I was on an Offroad Proflex fitted with a Girvin Flexstem. We came to a technical, rocky, steep section. The lead rider on a Fisher Prometheus picked his way down and I was next. I started down trying to work my way to the right. Every rock I went over caused the Girvin Flexstem to compress awkwardly forcing me to the left. I tried in vain to battle this poorly engineered piece of suspension technology. Eventually I endoed catapulting me 10 feet up in the air, flipping over and crashing down on my elbow. It immediatly started to swell and lock-up. Luckily there was an RN on the ride with us. After a makeshift sling was fashioned I managed to ride the rest of the way out of the woods. I even stayed within the group, riding one-handed. An X-ray later at Yale-New Haven revealed no broken bones but there was a bone-chip floating in the joint. They drained and filled the joint with Lidocaine. I couldn't feel my arm for two weeks and it took a month to regain full motion. Shortly after I moved to Colorado. Upon my return(7 years later) I came to learn that nearly everyone who rode this section of trail had come to call it "Jon's Elbow"! Quite an honor.
So, in a way my worst experience on a MTB has also become one of my best. And, now when there is really bad weather coming and the Barrometric pressure drops rapidly my elbow lets me know.

[AA]

Aside from the rides that ended in the Emergency Room (different stories for another time) my worst experience involved a NEMBA group ride. 5 or so years ago PK asked me if I was interested in leading a NEMBA ride on my local trails, no problem.

We had about 12 people show for the ride and things were tense even before we left the parking lot. One of the guys who showed up was insistent on having me mark out the ride on his topo map before we left......... umm how about you just follow me? As we rode along this guy was yammering the whole time, generally being obnoxious and pretty much yelling his opinions about bikes, technology and whatever else he decided to bring up. I'm all for strong opinions but this guy was brutal. The painful part was he talked up his riding ability but he wasn’t very good.

At one point in the ride there were several blow downs (none more than 10" high) at 45 degree angles to the trail. These branches had been on this trail for at least a year. I stopped before the branches and was telling everyone to meet up at the next trail juncture, and along comes big mouth. Well he rides right into the first branch and BAM he's down. He gets up quick and proceeds; 25 feet later next branch SMACK he's down again. This time he gets up and is yelling and swearing that his piece of sh*t bike doesn’t work bla bla bla. Back on the bike 50 feet later SPLAT another crash. Here is where it starts getting weird. The guy goes totally ballistic. He runs back to the first branch, rips it out of the ground yelling and swearing throws it off the trail. He rips up the 2nd and 3rd branch but isn’t satisfied he then goes for the branches that he hasn’t even tried to ride yet.

All the while this display is going on I get the group together to formulate a plan to get rid of this guy. I get the group back to the parking are and we all fake that the ride is over except we meet at another location for some more riding. I generally wouldn’t ditch someone especially on a NEMBA ride but this guy was a real jerk and nobody was having any fun with him going nutty.

[hogboy]

my worst was blowdown related. 15 of us got on a gigantic tree and it snapped back...everyone got away but my foot was stuck under a root. the treesnap popped my knee out . needless to say it freaking hurt to have the knee snapped sideways and apart. ouchy. I tried to pedal out but in 200 yards tears were pouring from my eyes. I limped home 9 miles and waited a month to ride again.

[Mt.A TODD]

As we rode along this guy was yammering the whole time, generally being obnoxious and pretty much yelling his opinions about bikes, technology and whatever else he decided to bring up. I'm all for strong opinions but this guy was brutal. The painful part was he talked up his riding ability but he wasn’t very good.

At one point in the ride there were several blow downs (none more than 10" high) at 45 degree angles to the trail. These branches had been on this trail for at least a year. I stopped before the branches and was telling everyone to meet up at the next trail juncture, and along comes big mouth. Well he rides right into the first branch and BAM he's down. He gets up quick and proceeds; 25 feet later next branch SMACK he's down again. This time he gets up and is yelling and swearing that his piece of sh*t bike doesn’t work bla bla bla. Back on the bike 50 feet later SPLAT another crash. Here is where it starts getting weird. The guy goes totally ballistic. He runs back to the first branch, rips it out of the ground yelling and swearing throws it off the trail. He rips up the 2nd and 3rd branch but isn’t satisfied he then goes for the branches that he hasn’t even tried to ride yet.

All the while this display is going on I get the group together to formulate a plan to get rid of this guy.




AA, I like your story. It sounds like your describing our weekly rides with FatTire Freak. I think you went riding with him! Your lucky if you only had to experience those antics once. I've been putting up with that twice a week for a couple of years now. FatireFreak is an expert on EVERYTHING! He will tell you what cloths to wear, he'll make fun of you if your helmet doesn't' fit right, he brags about his fancy H.I.D light compared to other puny dull lights. He gets upset when other people yell and make noise, yet he has biggest mouth. He actually tried to tell me how to fix a flat tire! GEEEZE! The list goes on and on. So actually AA, your pretty lucky with your worst trail experience, quit your whining. You'll get no sympathy from me until you ride with that annoying guy on a regular basis!

[Big Game]

My worst ride was a NEMBA ride a few years ago. There were about 12 people that showed there. Although I didn't lead the ride, I thought that my expertise was needed, so I advised that we mark out the trails on my topo map. I could tell that the rest of the riders weren't as good as me and weren't as well informed as I was, so I decided to share my vast knowledge.

But before I could seriously launch into the a treatise on why my bike rules and everyhting else sucks, I kept on getting attacked by these blow downs. I think I kind of freaked out. But I didn't care what the other riders thought of me, because they weren't nearly as cool as I was, especially the ride leader.

The ride leader then drastically made a change. He said the ride was over. So we went back to the parking lot. I loaded up my bike, as did everyone else. But I had a strange feeling something else was going on. So I pretended to drive off home, but I stayed around and followed a few of the other riders. It seems as if they decided to meet up at a different locale, so as to exclude me from the group. They wanted to get rid of me and they did.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I have many faults. But I guess maybe they didn't think that I was human and that I had any feelings. But you know what, if you cut me, I'll bleed. That was the worst day, the day I found out what it sounds like when doves cry.

[AA]

BG

I'm sorry that I had to ditch you on that ride but man you were a pain in the ass. Hopefully you have learned from your anti social behavior. Perhaps you and Fattie Freak can get together and try to find out why you alienate other riders.

Better yet we could have an intervention, we could call you names and berate the two of you until you conform to fit into a group.

Happy trails

[Big Game]

BG

I'm sorry that I had to ditch you on that ride but man you were a pain in the ass. Hopefully you have learned from your anti social behavior. Perhaps you and Fattie Freak can get together and try to find out why you alienate other riders.

Better yet we could have an intervention, we could call you names and berate the two of you until you conform to fit into a group.

Happy trails


Oh my God. I didn't put it together before. That was you who ditched me, AA? This is unfreakin believable. I was ditched by a nerd-herd you led?

Don't worry buddy, what I won't forget this. I will definately get even with you. And I might begin to even the score today.

Knucklebuster was looking to date your sister, and now I think I'll give him her phone number. Ha ha ha. My ultimate revenge will be complete at next year's Thanksgiving table when you have to ask "Knucklebuster, could you please pass the gravy?"

Hopefully, just hopefully, he doesn't slobber into the gravy boat as it passes underneath that foul, primative gutter-mouth of his.

[gungywump]

TODD,

I feel your pain man. I understand why you did what you did AA. You see I have to ride with the Big Game on a regular basis. As I read your story AA the behavior seemed all too familiar. I didn't share a like story because it just brings up bad memories that I try to block out as soon as the ride is over. Did anyone see last week's South Park about tolerance? I live a similar nightmare every time I ride with B.G., hampster included! ———government censors have removed this line——— Do you know how many times I've heard that women can't climb? How good my bike is? How good I am? And all those useless tech tips. AA I think I may employ your strategy. Todd can we swap riding partners?

[hogboy]

;D

[fellsbiker]

Is Big Game really the guy, or is he just being funny? I assume he was just joking, i was laughing my ass off as I read that post!

[Big Game]

Is Big Game really the guy, or is he just being funny? I assume he was just joking, i was laughing my ass off as I read that post!


Yeah, I'm that friggin' guy.

So Fellsbiker, do you want to go on a ride with me or what? But if you do, you better be no stupid geek. And I am the best rider in the world, so you better say something like "Big Game, you're totally awesome" or you'll hurt my feelings. And don't you dare touch my bike. It's mine and I don't want to share it. I know you want it because you're probably not as rich as I am and can't afford a bike like mine, but tough. You're just jealous. But I think we should go for a ride. If you are cool enough to hang out with Big Game, Big Game will show you the time of your life.

[Dawgee]

Big Game will you be riding the gold bike?

[mtbtom]

WORST ON TRAIL EXPERIENCE
One day while JRA on an awesome 30 mile singletrack extravaganza loop ride the bike I was on suddenly broke. I had to walk 4 miles out of the woods carrying both ends of the busted frame (comment by anonymous hiker: "Tough day in the woods huh?") Then I waited by the road side for a few hours for someone to ride back to the cars and pick me up. (boooring) To top it off the bike that broke was not mine, but a loaner from a friend. Still, it was a pretty good ride.

[MMcG]

oooohhhh.......that looks like a nasty one.......did you crash hard when the frame broke?

I hope your friend salvavaged that Chris King head set!

[Mt.A TODD]

WORST ON TRAIL EXPERIENCE
One day while JRA on an awesome 30 mile singletrack extravaganza loop ride the bike I was on suddenly broke. I had to walk 4 miles out of the woods carrying both ends of the busted frame (comment by anonymous hiker: "Tough day in the woods huh?") Then I waited by the road side for a few hours for someone to ride back to the cars and pick me up. (boooring) To top it off the bike that broke was not mine, but a loaner from a friend. Still, it was a pretty good ride.



Hey Tom, Did you try to fix it before you started walking back? In a situation like that you need to ask yourself, What would McGuyver do! Here's how you fix that mess. First reach into your camelback and take out zip ties and small roll of duct tape. I hope on a 30 mile ride you carry at least one of those! Find two straight sticks which when inserted into the broken ends fit snuggly, leave some sticking out. Bang on the other half of the frame. Wrap duct tape around broken weld. Zip tie a strong stick or sticks to the outside of the frame (a splint), and gently ride home! I've done this to a broken frame and it works! Oh well, next time you'll know, or better yet, lay off the Oreos!