Women Can't Climb

[Big Game]

Now take it easy, Nancy. I'm not saying that women shouldn't be riding out on the trail (you're much too fine to look at). All I'm saying is that women can't climb. They lack the strength, the stamina, the skills and the smarts.

Now ladies, don't get your panties in a bunch. I wouldn't make such a statement (which every guy knows is true, but few are willing to admit) without backing it up. So maybe, just maybe, some of you ladies could put down your make-up and stop thinking about what's on Lifetime tonight and listen for a change.

On Nov. 3, CT-NEMBA will be having its Fall Fiesta at West Rock Park (see other posting for more details). We have a little activity planned. A little thing called the hill climb challenge. Whoever makes it up the purple trail the furthest without dabbing, wins. It is that simple.

My challenge to you little chick-i-poos is this: There is no way any of you could ever get further up the hill then me. And this goes for you Massachusetts types too...that's right, even you could find West Rock (all you have to do is just ask a guy for directions).

On no, what have I done? The flurry of women drivers (from Massachusetts, no less) storming down to accept my challenge (in vain, of course) will probably cause so many accidents on I-91 here in CT that my insurance rates will triple as a result.


I was thinking about doing the hill-climb hungover, but I didn't want to use that as an excuse just in case by some strange coincidence a woman actually beat me (or more likely cheated).

Don't worry ladies. While the drive home Nov 3rd will certainly be depressing for you (after all, being put in one's place is difficult for anybody), there are some really nice shops and boutiques in New Haven for you to spend your husband's money at.

[gungywump]

Hey Big Dame, when one of the lovely and talented NEMBA beauties beats you would you be willing to wear a skirt for the party?? There has to be something at stake here. :-*

[gungywump]

Oh and how about a lacy red thong? I mean out in public for a change.

Also, I'd like to propose a SS hill climb.

[Big Game]

Also, I'd like to propose a SS hill climb.


Don't worry girlywump, I've been seeing the way you've been scrurrying up those little hills. It's no contest, I'm confindent you could push your single speed all the to the top of the hill.

Now for those who wish too RIDE their single speeds, yes, I do believe they should have there own class.

[johnnyt]

Lame Pig,
I was on the fence for this event, but my wife just called me and said she for one will be there. Not to accept your challenge but to practice the new numchuck technique she learned while studying for here second degree blackbelt . I recommend body armor...

[hogboy]

from which side of the purple trail

red or blue ?

[Big Game]

Lame Pig,
I was on the fence for this event, but my wife just called me and said she for one will be there.

All right! Glad she can make it.

I just hope the Home Shopping Channel doesn't go into bankruptcy because of her absence from her favorite Sunday afternoon pastime. You know, on the couch, in front of the TV, with the phone in her left hand and your credit card in her right.

[Big Game]

from which side of the purple trail

red or blue ?




From the bottom, where the purple meets the red.

Now remember,the purple is actually more of a cobalt.

[Newbie]

Hiya Big Game

You're contest sounds swell. Unfortunately, I, like most of the women around here, am far too lame to try anything like that.

I guess if I ever want to land a catch like you (judging by your picture, you are VERY handsome) I should really get out to the CT-NEMBA fest ( I even heard the Dewser will be there).

I suppose someday a woman will be president of the USA, but it won't be because of the horrible example I have set for the younger female generation by being a wallflower on the singletrack of life.

[knucklebuste]

dude, your on a rampage. I can't even look at your posts man, that picture; too ******* funny. Your girlfriend dump you today?

[gungywump]

With Big Lame's obvious suave with the ladies that hill is probably the only thing he can GET UP! ;D

[SloMoJo]

Seems to me women do fine on the hills.
They don't have the burden of a male ego to carry up the hill.

Also...
They're a much better sight than men in tights.
But that's just me.

[I Are Baboon]

On Nov. 3, CT-NEMBA will be having its Fall Fiesta at West Rock Park (see other posting for more details).

What other posting?

[CouchingTiger]

Excellent, I love it! I expect to see all of you on the NAMBLA-fest epic ride Sunday (9:30am start I believe). We'll see just who can climb what. Maybe we'll even open up some Whupass on Punkatassett Hill (the only notable climb in the area).

I would be up for single speeds if anyone else is in.

-Couch

[turch]

CTNEMBA's Fall Fiesta in Sunday, Nov.3rd. Open to all NEMBA members and prospects. Rides, food, party, and they're lining up a variety of mini-competitions, including the 'hog tie Big Game and drag him up Bertha hill climb challenge' ;D

See http://www.ctnemba.org/fallfiesta02.html

[I Are Baboon]

Linkee no workee. I found it on the CT-NEMBA site. Looks pretty cool. What kind of turnout do you usually have?

This is my first year as a NEMBA member. Gimme a break...I've only been riding a couple of years. :P

[hogboy]

Excellent, I love it! I expect to see all of you on the NAMBLA-fest epic ride Sunday (9:30am start I believe). We'll see just who can climb what. Maybe we'll even open up some Whupass on Punkatassett Hill (the only notable climb in the area).

I would be up for single speeds if anyone else is in.

-Couch


Couch, hogboy here...

they think they can climb eh ? send them up the front side of punk

[turch]

Apologies for the junk link. I apparently can't tell bupkus between .html and .doc.

Last years FF in Glastonbury showed about 150 for rides and 120 at the party.

[gungywump]

Should be a good day. I think there is also going to be a trials demo featuring the gentleman gapping off the top of the tractor trailer in the Trials Pics section.

I have been on a SS for the last two CTNEMBA Fall Festivals(only one) it would be great to see other SSers show up. Especially for the hillclimb.

[turch]

Still working to engage Mr. Finn (mostly a matter of providing a trials worthy venue). Other things being lined up include wheelie contest, log hopping, and a few items to be dragged in by Loren the backyard tooltime guy. The more creative while keeping within the guidelines layed down by DEP the better.

[johnnyt]

What about a contest where chicks get to bunny hop Big Lame, lengthwise? No really, how about highest and/or longest bunny hop or longest wheelie stand?

[turch]

All valid and potentially happening. We have feelers out and optimally want sponsor shops to underwrite or schwag each gig. I'm open to ideas but don't count on this guy trying to run it all down. Get it going and talk to me.

[gungywump]

If there are going to be wheelie and bunnyhop contests you may as well award Mr. Finn the prize right now. He sidehops 38", bunnyhops over 40" and can ride a wheelie till the tires wear off!!

[johnnyt]

He can't play. We need a good judge though!

[turch]

The general idea is grab a sponsor shop willing to act as event sponsor, have been conduct the contest of skills clinic, need an MC, a qualified demonstrator, give participants a go at it, award them or top performers schwag.

In Tim's case we immeidately thought of trials of course (problem being he has no props and his appeals to Kevin B - he's busy - and even Steidley - wants dough - havn't panned out. Also, the area around Lake Wintergreen where the party will be really has nothing to offer in the way of suitable natural features. Anyone know of a local logger that might drop off and pick up a few tree trunks?). At any rate let him loose with whatever can be dreamt up and get him to toss tips to would be enthusiasts. Something along those lines anyway.

[Boer]

"Big Game", it seems as if you are an under 21 yr old male who has a huge problem relating to women (and dating them) and have to overcompensate by boasting and puffing yourself up to a ridiculous level to get attention, anyone's attention, positive or negative.
Don't worry "Big Game," soon you'll hopefully mature and grow out of this "Big Joke" phase. Then, again hopefully,you'll be able to relate to others well.

Good Luck!

PS insulting my reply is expected for one in your state. Don't worry, I won't take you seriously

[I Are Baboon]

Well now.....SOMEBODY is taking this a bit too literally.

[turch]

Ever notice that it's often the newbie to the forum who fails to bother poking about the various threads to get the gist of what's going on, the personalities involved and being fostered but just jump in and end out being completely out of step? Boering, you blew it! Take a look around and try again.

[Thedewser]

WOW! I don't check the forum for a while and all hell is breaking loose! Any what big game says is true, The Dewser will be there! Hopefully I will be able to see all you nice ladies kick his but up and down Skull and Crossbones!!! I will certainly have a camera ready. Sorry Big Game, I have a feeling you may be eating your bike shorts!

[turch]

What the hell am I doing amuzing myself at 6:30 in the morning. Oh yeah almost time for the stumble in (work). Lizards want power system maintenance this weekend and I get the illustrious task of idling a pretty big network and a gazillion nodes (all while keeping 'net services alive in an adc). Oh, I suppose that this ramble should be on the 'what pays for your bike jones' thread. Screw them (us).

What was I gonna say? Yeah, I was going to re-butt ;D the thought of feeding BG his shorts. Much better to have him choke down mine or probably anyone elses. But then I thought about it. I've been behind that crazy man after a solid ride and boy he gets ripe. Yep, best to stay with the original plan. :-\

[Sylvan]

I don't care what kind of a joke this is supposed to be. I find it degrading and insulting anyways.

(Women) lack the strength, the stamina, the skills and the smarts.
The skills and smarts? Where the heck do you get off? Strength and stamina, maybe. Just maybe. But skills and smarts? That's like saying men are too stupid and lack the skills to go through labor and childbirth.. ::)

..some of you ladies could put down your make-up and stop thinking about what's on Lifetime tonight and listen for a change.

The flurry of women drivers ...storming down to accept my challenge ...will probably cause so many accidents on I-91...

While the drive home Nov 3rd will certainly be depressing for you ...there are some really nice shops and boutiques in New Haven for you to spend your husband's money at.

I just hope the Home Shopping Channel doesn't go into bankruptcy because of her absence from her favorite Sunday afternoon pastime.
I wonder if you would say these things to your mother. To your sister. To your wife or girlfriend. To your daughter. And if you would, the poor woman! To have to put up with that for however long! This is the kind of antiquated thinking that needs to be put away, now more than ever. This is the kind of stuff that makes women stand up and say "Yes, I am oppressed in our society!" Jokes or not, we can't stand for this. Our society is sorely lacking in respect. Respect for all life. Human, animal, female, male, vegetable, mineral, whatever, nothing is treated with respect anymore. That has got to change. Let it start with you.

You go girlfriend, GIRRRRRRRRLLLLLL Power.

[SloMoJo]

OK girls.
We needed that dope slap.
Although not many women post here some do read here.

I think you are right on.
Although the "oppressed race" is a bit outdated.

Makes no sense to insult women.
One of a few things I've learned in 10 years of marriage.

Sorry girls.
-Greg

ps.
Could you girls post a little more often to help remind us you're listening? Thx

[Shubnigurath]

Im not sure, but I think you all might be missing the big picture here...I'm guessing that Big Lame is an internet troll, just saying controversial things to stir up discord for his own amusement. Pity people such as this for the insufferable excercise in banality that must be their life, that have to resort to this kind of behavoir as a way of reaching out to others. Best thing to do is ignore comments like that...then they usually go away. All I'll say is that I ride pretty good..and mere girls such as Alison Dunlop and Marla Streb would blow me away without so much as breaking a sweat. Ladies..RIDE ON!!!

[SloMoJo]

You're right dude.
But it's not just one guy.

I posted a thread on "thumbs up to girls on mountain bikes" a few weeks back. The replies started off good, but then got degrading fast. If I was girl, I would have been pissed.

It's just a point all us guys need to hear from time to time.
"Respect the women"

To quote Big Game
"You'de be a fool not to do it."

[MtnBikerChk]

ps.
Could you girls post a little more often to help remind us you're listening? Thx


I usually ignore crap like this. Which is why you usually will not see me posting in threads like these.

[turch]

I get a kick out of the 'ole I'm Indignant posts. Often times by first time visitors. Stuff like this might just be considered parody if you pondered it. Big Game is simply stirring up enthusiasm for a side show event at CTNEMBA's Fall Fiesta event. I really do not think that he is actually dis'n females. Rather he is trash talking his girly guy pals and enticing them to participate.

Everyone take a deep breath now. Phew.

[LB]

Pullleeease ladies, you know Big Game is just trying to goad you into entering the race so he and his cronies can watch your !!! as you ride up the hill in spandex...

Remember we are talking about a person who thinks he can achieve world domination by building a gold bike, this is but another dimension of his evil plan. ;D

[Big Game]

You women's libbers really crack me up. First, we give you the right to vote and then the next thing you think that ride a well asa man can.

Let me tell you ladies, I'm not even that good for a guy. But I can climb further than any woman.

Secondly, I have decided what I'll do (just in case I am incorrect (or happen to get hit by a meteor on the way up)). I will clean the bike of any woman who happens to beat me at the Fall Fiesta. And I will do a really good job. And you can even take of picture of me doing it so you can share your victory with your Yoga class.

And then who knows...maybe you will inspire a Lifetime original movie (with Meredith Baxter-Birney playing the part of you) about a woman who conquers the systemic demons of a male-dominated society.

[bikerag]

Hey Big Game - Didnt PMD beat you up the west rock hill like a month ago.. I may actually make the epic, just to get some shots of you in a red thong and skirt.. Would be excellent for the bikerag dating page.. Keep up the good banter.. You are asking for it..

[Big Game]

Bikerag ---

If you check your facts, you'll see that while PMDi did manage to pass me up the yellow, inevitably, I passed her back when her derailer miss-shifted. I beat her to the top as she had to walk her bike up the climb. If she just did a little maintenance on her bike she could have beat me. But then again, that's why I will be any woman. Because I am smarter. Smarter enough to do a little maintenance. (and gooder enough with the engrish)

Women are too busy thinking about what flavor Luna bar is their favorite ( I vote for s'mores) and how many decorative pillows they should put on their bed (they usually decide on about 45) to ponder the fact that their bike actually might need to be worked on.

[turch]

Ugh! I should have known better than to even try.

[Big Game]

Whatever you do, pay no attention to that other post "Seriously...", started by someone who has stolen my identity. Obviously that other "Big Game" has been pressured by some jack-booted P.C. thugs to be Mr. Nice Guy.

Well I got to run. My John Birch Society meeting starts in about thirty minutes.

[Big Game]

Chin-up ladies,

After doing some research, I was shocked and amazed at the results at the 2002 Mt Washington hill climb.

Visit:

http://www.canadiancyclist.com/dailynews/August/8.24.025.04PM27.shtml

Read this for yourself and decide whether or not women don't have the stamina or strength to beat a man on a hill climb.

I can only hope that this Jeannie chick and others like herhaven't seen this posting, otherwise I'll be so busy cleaning bikes, I'll never get a chance for the Dewser's BBBQ.

In my defense, consider this. Women are wired for child birth. Right? And as such, they have an increase threshold of pain, yes? And Because women can ignore pain that cripples a man, shouldn't they be able to continue far past a man? Shouldn't they really be kicking our butts? I mean, us men are programmed to be wimps (and complain a lot) and we still beat women.

So why hasn't Oprah ever covered that topic on her show? Why? Because she is far too busy and successful to be concerned with my trivial and circular rantings.

But isn't there something else? Yes, yes there is. She's afraid to get her butt kicked in by a genetically inferior man, that's why she's staying far far away from West Rock on November 3.

[Shubnigurath]

By the way....I'll be bringing a cartload of horse-poop to the event for any ladies who beat the Big Shame up the hill so that they may throw thier bikes into it before he cleans them....hey, Big Game, mabey you'll luck out and run into KnuckleshufflerPudPullerNutBuster there...Im sure he could give you some tips on bike cleaning,(hell, im sure he'd be more than happy to wax them all when your done)... he's apparently an expert on the subject :D

[Big Game]

Horse poop? You must love me, Shubininigurath. Horse poop ain't no thing. It's mostly grass. It comes off just like sand. Dog poop on the other hand is sticky like some of the bud knucklecrumpleton has been smoking. It's nice to know that there's people like you who care about me, no matter how obnixious I portray myself.

Before I go, I do want you to know that you have inspired me to write a sonnet about you. I'm not sure how it will end up, but "cuddling" and "smooching" will be recurrent themes.

I love you too.

Big Game

[Shubnigurath]

Hmmmm..you seem intimately familiar with the properties of
various types of fecal matter....takes one to know one???

[Big Game]

Hey I'm not sure about this, but it seems like you were implying that I was crap. To most people this would be tantamount to an insult. Indeed, I am like most people; my feelings are in fact hurt by what you said.

However, my hurt feelings are tempered because I know the motivation behind such an insult. You are feeling we are getting too close. And because you are afraid that you have strong feelings for me, you push me away with verbal taunts.

I'll still see you at the Fall Fiesta and by that time you may have become accustomed to your brand-new adult feelings and perhaps be able to communicate them to me and not have to push me away. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you started making eyes at me. Hopefully I won't be wearing sunglasses so I can make eyes back at you.

[focker]

Big Game aka Beefeater -

I see your convuluted (with two u's) attempt to clean up on the Laundry scene - This is where you need to be careful - first it will be cleaning bikes then who knows! - you'll have be washing dirty smelly rancid bike shorts - You may even have to put a "load of laundry" in when you really don't want to just to save your life - these two bit schemes can be dangerous and you must tread very lightly or you will anger even more or the masses... As noble as your cause is - just remember to hang dry the bike shorts... May the force be with you....

[johnnyt]

It is so enjoyable to sit on the perifery and watch you two lovebirds. I have heard of people meeting on the internet and marrying, and now to sit here at my desk and watch the sparks fly, pure poetry. Just what this viscous string needed, some love to lighten the mood. Will you be kissing at the event?

[Big Game]

Oh way to go, Jolly Time. You totally queered the deal. "Shuby" is going to feel way too much pressure (you're already talking marriage!!!) and will dump me, like so many other before her (I hope she was merely joking when Shuby put down male as her gender in her user profile) have, right on my big fat arse.

Shuby, don't pay attention to Jolly Time. We can go as slow as you want (as long as you are willing to mother 11 of my beautiful children, nothing in the world can stop us).

And Focker, I happy to hear you made it out of Mesomasic alive. But The Laundry isn't go so well. The machine I have just seems to waste time going around in circles. I'm thinking about getting one of those fancy swedish models. I hear they use half the energy than a domestic. But unfortunately, they are also very pricey. So in reality, I'll probably be back to doing my laundry alone.

And Focker, how's the bikerag.com singles forum going? (That's right ladies you can see Focker right on bikerag.com) By putting Big Game down, he's already demonstrated that he's quite a catch. Check out the link:

http://www.bikerag.com/bikerag_dating.htm

[focker]

Oh - alas - my secret is out... ummm rumor has it that big Game aka Beef eater aka Ankle Biter will be the next contest-ant on bikerag dating... This is where the ulra witty remark comes in - insert your own - I am "too busy" right now - still recovering from Spain..... Need to finish my own laundry...

[johnnyt]

Look out!!! It appears that the bikerag conspiricy is about to completely over run this once pure forum. Before long we will have posts from sock stuffers and tubless men and all hell will break loose!!!!

Run for your lives before you are squashed by a giant donut!!!

[Big Game]

Yes, yes focker, I have been rumered to be the next contestant on the bikerag dating game. Right now, Puke is looking for a underwriter to bond such an endeavor (so that the estate of any woman that goes out with me will have something to sue (the Lord knows I'm judgment-proof)) after things go horribly wrong.

[gungywump]

Would the real BIG GAME please stand up??



http://mediaservice.photoisland.com/auction/Oct/200210224467788774065219.jpg

[Shubnigurath]

Big shame..you doubt my status as a male--HAHA!!! two points to prove my case, you craven dog!! 1) Splat caught me on camera at the Nemba-fest group ride (posted by Sylvan on the nembafest pics thread)..im the dude in approximately the middle of the group with sunglassess wearing the American flag flameout jersey..and 2) if youll go to the RI ride board,one of my early posts (Single mtbkr chicks??) is an attempt to lure unsuspecting females into..errrr...to meet some nice mountain bike girls. Now, I dont doubt for a minute that you in fact realize that i am a male, but subconciously you are trying to hook up with me in an attempt to live out your homosexual fantasies...seriously Game..youve got more gay issues than a San Fransisco newstand....

[gungywump]

..im the dude in approximately the middle of the group with sunglassess wearing the American flag flameout jersey..
...seriously Game..youve got more gay issues than a San Fransisco newstand....


Hey Shrub,
I'm REALLY NOT trying to help Big Lame prove a point but, "flameout jersey" does sound a little, wait, no ALOT gay!!

[Big Game]

I'm not sure if I learned anything from this whole experience. I still want to respond to Shuby-Doo with:


"Are you sure you're not a woman? I mean it took you half a page to say what could have been said in five words: 'I am a man, man.'"

But I know some of you would view this as demeaning, degrading, or unholy. So I ask you, is a response like this to Shuby like this permissable?

[johnnyt]

Crumbly-pump,
I admire your artistic abilities, or is that the image the camera saw when you took a snapshot of the Big Mane?

[Big Game]

youll go to the RI ride board,one of my early posts (Single mtbkr chicks??) is an attempt to lure unsuspecting females into..errrr...to meet some nice mountain bike girls.

Well good luck with that. Believe me, I tried everything, women are just impossible. The only ones that will worship the ground that you walk on (which of course, every guy deserves) no matter how much you verbally abuse them are totally crazy. Let me tell you, the "perfect girl" doesn't exist, so don't even bother trying. You'll just wind up disappointed and kind of sleepy.


Your pal,

Big Game

[Thedewser]

Ok, stop flinging feces at each other, put the dirty laundry away! I now know what Big Game's purpose is. He want to have the most posts in the entire forum!!! The forum has totally lost its path!! So I will try and set it back!!!!

You can catch Big Game and his dirty shorts at this year's CT NEMBA's Fall Fiesta. November 3rd at West Rock State Park see the flier for directions and more details:

http://www.dewser.com/fallfiesta/

Enjoy, I am just trying to shake the newbie title!!!

[Big Game]

Touche (I wish I could add an accent-a-gu to my posts for that franch flaver, but alas, this is yet another of my ineptitudes) ---

Dewser, You have found me out. Let me tell you, FULL membership has its privileges. I still think the controversial posts that earned me these three stars are worth alienating a good 80% of the entire mountain bike community.

But yes, we must stay on the topic. I will reiterate my challenge. Any woman who makes it further than me on the hill-climb will have her bike cleaned (that day, no less) by me. I will do it with a smile and will do a commendable job.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint), because of the manner in which I presented this challenge, this challenge is now sponserless. There may be a new sponser, but state law prohibits that entity from announcing its existance at this point in time (I'm serious).

No fear, there still will be prizes and good times, but because of this political "hot potato" I have created, the proposed sponsors have, perhaps wisely, decided to bow out.

I hope to see many of you there. If you are wondering what I look like, I'm the tall blond guy with glasses and a real cool kona single speed

[gungywump]

Unfortunately, (or fortunately depending on your viewpoint), because of the manner in which I presented this challenge, this challenge is now sponserless. There may be a new sponser, but state law prohibits that entity from announcing its existance at this point in time (I'm serious).

No fear, there still will be prizes and good times, but because of this political "hot potato" I have created, the proposed sponsors have, perhaps wisely, decided to bow out.



Big Game speaks the truth. Did I just say that?
Anyway, North Haven Bike has decided to attach it's good name to the Bunnyhop Contest. The North haven Bike Bunnyhop Bar will be at the event, it's marked off at 1inch increments, and will definativly determine "How HIGH Can You Go".