Solid Gold

[Big Game]

I'm a simple man. And I don't ask for a lot. But I feel that my life would be a dismal failure is I don't acheive what I was put on this earth to do. I'm reaching out to you people for help.

You see, I must build a bike. Not just any bike. But one made out of solid gold. Right now, my two obstacles are that :

1) I don't have any gold
2) I don't have any metal working or engineering skills.

I ask any of you, if you can, please, to assist me with overcoming these obstacles.

Now to clarify my requirements:

By solid gold, I mean solid gold. I think 14K would satisfy. But all parts must be made out of gold, the only possible exception is the tires (but I'm still holding out that a gold lamaize (sp?) fabric can be used). But the chain is gold. The cassette must be gold. Gold handlebars. Gold gold gold.

But I am reasonable: the frame need not be solid. Tubular gold is acceptable.

The bike must be able to be ridden on a flat, smooth surface for a distance of at least 100 yards.

Please don't tell me I'm crazy or unreasonable or that it can't be done. That kind of attitude won't get me my solid gold bike.

I would appreciate any guidance or suggestions.

[johnnyt]

You'd better have a very low gear ratio on that baby since it will weigh about 500 pounds!

[Big Game]

You think 500 lbs? I was really hoping to get it sub-100. Either way, you're right. It will have to be geared pretty low. But that's all right. I don't want to go too fast. I want people to really get a good look at it when I cruise by.

[johnnyt]

Actually, gold is approximately 7.5 times heavier than aluminum. So if we assume the entire bike were made of aluminum and weighed in at a svelt 24 pounds, your gold bike would weigh about 180 pounds plus tubes and tires. Not bad!

Just remember, no big hits though because gold is very soft and you could literally wrap that shiny bike around a tree. I think you should make it a hardtail! The softness of the metal should absorb most small bumps!

[johnnyt]

Check this out...Today gold costs closed down at $315.00 per ounce. That means that your mean and shiny ride would not only be the heaviest mountain bike in the word, but also the most expensive! Your bike will cost about $907,000.00 just in raw materials! Your goldsmith frame builder will be extra!

[Big Game]

Currently, there are 167 users on this forum. If we could get each of them to donate $5431.18, we (yes, I have imputed this goal to you as well) would be well on our way to securing enough raw material to build OUR wonderful gold bicycle.

Now all we have to do is find someone skilled enough to build it. I was thinking of placing an ad in a newspaper. But should what should the copy read? Should we be looking for a be a jeweler? or frame builder? or goldsmith? Please advise.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

It could be good NEMBA promotion...

I don't want to go too fast. I want people to really get a good look at it when I cruise by.

Yeah... and 907,000 dollars worth of gold? I am guessing they would also steal the bicycle while you are riding it (note, read "worst things thrown at you" thread on street talk).

[Big Game]

I see what you're getting at. You want to be in charge of security, don't you? Congratulations, the job is yours.

[turch]

What a hoot. Please share your stash with others. No bogarting.

I'm afraid that I'm not much help in the engineering arena. Maybe just as a dreamer.

At any rate, here's what I see as a glaring negative. Have you considered what to do about bearings? Gold will only mushroom as it is way too malleable. Maybe if used briefly as bushings but even then the material will quickly deform.

Anyone know of an bicycle industry design engineer with way to much time on his/her hands?

On the idea of a NEMBA-type project, get capital, go through the design, manufacturing, and test ride process. Take gobs of pictures. Melt the whole shebang down and donate it to the NEMBA Land Access Fund.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Congratulations, the job is yours.

Do I get a golden gun?

[Big Game]

Whoa man...share the stash? What are you exactly implying? Listen bro, the only thing I'm high on is love for my fellow man (That and about half a bottle of diet pills).

Anyway I definately think we're on to something. Yes, adter it is built, we can melt the bike down into commerative coins (ya dude, it's kind of a zen thing). On the reverse of the coin, there shall be an engraving on our solid gold bike. On the front, an engraving of yours truly (with a scaled down version of me crooked sniffer -- we don't want to scare any children). We'll raise so much money, the only thing left to decide is how NEMBA is going to spend $10 mill. Suggestions, anyone?

But back to the technical aspects. Yes, the high malleability of gold is a challenge. But maybe we don't need bearings...we're not going too fast or far. We can just pack all the fitting with a crap-load of grease. All right, maybe that won't work as the combined rider and bike weight will be over 400 lbs --- there might be too much friction and heat to overcome. But we'll never know unless we try.

Or...How about air bearings? I don't know what they. I don't know if they exist. But they do sound lightweight.

Or...Gold conducts electricity very well. How about some sort of anti-gravity magnetic bearing made out of solid gold?


Regardless, I am so glad that all of you share my enthusiam for this project. But we must remember to think creatively and not to accept conventional wisdom as gold. There are only two things that are gold. One, of course, is our gold bike. The second is our faith in each other, that no matter what the obstacles, we can overcome what the "experts" see impossible. But we know better. We are afraid to live. We aren't afraid to live.

Now let's get this bike rolling!

[Big Game]

Kevin --- liability issues preclude you from possessing a golden gun. I know, you're disappointed. But how about golden knuckles instead?

[sizlinseagulsoup]

If we are so worried about the bearings... maybe we should be worried about the entire bike just bending in half?

Kevin --- liability issues preclude you from possessing a golden gun. I know, you're disappointed. But how about golden knuckles instead?

I guess I can deal with that.

[Big Game]

If we are so worried about the bearings... maybe we should be worried about the entire bike just bending in half?


As long as its doesn't break, bending is o.k. And just think of the supple ride sold gold will provide.

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

It would be cheaper to pick up girls in a Ferrari.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Chicks dig guys with gold bikes...

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

even if you got a custom gold paint job on the ferrari it would still be cheaper. And if you were to pick up chicks you would need a tandem.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Actually my bike is gold...
http://www.thestaticnetwork.com/images/blah/goldbike.jpg

[Big Game]

Aghh!!!! Where's your helmet?!?

As a role model (and Chief of Security), you owe a duty to set the highest example. I beg you to please think of the millions and millions of highly-impressionable youth that will undoubtedly come across this picture. Remember, safety is no accident. And while you may not agree with me, I certainly believe the children are our future.

Please, show them all the beauty you possess inside. Put a lid on.

[I Are Baboon]

Check this out...Today gold costs closed down at $315.00 per ounce. That means that your mean and shiny ride would not only be the heaviest mountain bike in the word, but also the most expensive! Your bike will cost about $907,000.00 just in raw materials! Your goldsmith frame builder will be extra!


I have $1.38 in spare change in my desk right now. I was hoping to use this money to buy a coffee tomorrow morning, but I'd be willing to help with the gold bike cause. Big Game, please PM me your information so I can send a check. BTW, I'll need you to send me $2.00 for a processing fee.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

If you notice... I am really not riding. That was an elite pedrofest picture that I possed for. (notice foot on the ground)

[Big Game]

Alright people...I see we're getting a little distracted from our goal.

Perhaps I share a little of the blame. I'm sorry for getting side-track on the helmet issue. It's just that I care so much. I guess I'm the only one who will ever think about the children.

Now on to the $1.38. Send me the money 1st. Then to get reimbursed for your processing fee (and this goes for anybody), I am happy to announce I have secured a grant from the North American Massive Bicycle Lover's Association (NAMBLA) to cover such processing fees. Just send them a picture of yourself (they would prefer if you send one of you in your early teens) and they'll be happy to send you a check. That address is:

NAMBLA
537 Jones Street No. 8418
San Francisco, CA 94102

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Hahaha... I'm on this forum at a friends house right now and he hit me because he thought the NEMBA logo said NAMBLA... ironic?

[Big Game]

I've wondered myself...how many pedophiles do you think get all excited about these NEMBA online forums only to become hopelessly disappointed when they realize all we talk about is bikes?

But what the heck... for this cause this good, I'll go out on a limb:

ATTENTION LOST PEDOPHILES: Society may judge you for being the sick, twisted crazies you are, but we'll still take your donations of gold for our soon-to-be-built solid gold bike.


Oh my. What has happened to me? I think I have solid gold bike fever.

I have just solicited donations from pedophiles.

(And yes, I realize I've set up a joke that would poke fun at the Catholic Church...but I'll refrain, out of respect of the forum. Plus, as a Catholic, I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the litte bit of "extra heaven" I am entitled to after I pass through those pearly gates)

[Big Game]

It took a little while, but the engineers at Bikerag.com finally got us our prototype of our solid gold bike.

That's right, the penny-farthing is back in a big way.

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

So you had to get it with spinergy wheels with giant diamonds over some spokes??? Nice move!!! Is that chain coming out of the stem a gold bike lock?

[Dawgee]

Im a toolmaker i could notch the gold tubing for you. Im not that good i make alot of mistakes. I'll just take my mistakes home with me ;D

In order to save a little money you could make the bike out of straw. I have a friend that can turn it into gold.


now let me think.... ::)...what was his name???

[Mt.A TODD]

Perhaps we should construct the bike out of lead!

Before Chemistry was a science, there was Alchemy. One of the supreme quests of alchemy is to transmute lead into gold. Lead (atomic number 82) and gold (atomic number 79) are defined as elements by the number of protons they possess. Changing the element requires changing the atomic (proton) number. The number of protons cannot be altered by any chemical means. However, physics may be used to add or remove protons and thereby change one element into another.

Transmutation of lead into gold isn't just theoretically possible - it has been achieved! There are reports that Glenn Seaborg, 1951 Nobel Laureate in Chemistry, succeeded in transmuting a minute quantity of lead (possibly en route from bismuth, in 1980) into gold. There is an earlier report (1972) in which Soviet physicists at a nuclear research facility near Lake Baikal in Siberia accidentally discovered a reaction for turning lead into gold when they found the lead shielding of an experimental reactor had changed to gold.

Unless we plan to rob Fort Knox, constructing the bike out of lead makes good sense!

[Big Game]

Is that chain coming out of the stem a gold bike lock?


They are actually antenna (or antennae). That way if my solid gold bike gets to far away from me, by thievery or my own carelessness, I can call it back home to me.

You know, now that I thought about it, someone could steal the bike and simply remove the antenna (or antennae). This would do two things. First, make it impossible for me to call my bike back home. Second, the full-scale antenna (or antennae) must weigh at least 5 lbs. That's 80 ounces of solid gold! Not only would the theif be able to ride around on the world's most glorius and coveted bike, he (or she) would have $32,000 as spending money, provided he (or she) sold the scrapped antenna (or antennae) at market price of around $400 an ounce.

I'm with you, Mr. Biker Dude, screw the antenna (or antennae). A bike lock is a much more practical feature. But what to make it out of?

I'm kind of leaning towards solid gold.

[I Are Baboon]

Is that a Z1 I see on the prototype? Good choice.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Out of lead? That would be extremely fun to push. Why don't we just take our current frames and fill the tubing with Mercury...

[Big Game]

Kev:

I thinks its best to use mercury as chain lube. Because I like working with mercury and its closest ways of being real seem nice to me and such as well with the silver that quickness and nice day for here. Ha! You all stop talking about me now. So sleepy.

[Mt.A TODD]

This bike at INTERBIKE is GOLD, and it looks fast too!

[sizlinseagulsoup]

That looks red... the entire point of a gold bike is for everyone to see the gold. Or at least I thought that was the reason. Anyways it still does look cool, even if it has some red on it. What does it weight?

[Big Game]

I think if you had a solid gold bike and you painted it red, that would be pretty cool. In a sense, you'd would be saying to the whole world "Hey man, my bike is made out of solid gold, but because I'm so cool, I don't need to advertise."

Unfortunately however, I doubt that the above-pictured bike is made of solid gold, but is more likely composed of carbon-fiber. Now don't get me wrong, there are some fine, fine carbon fiber bikes out there (the Hogi Yogi is just one example). But everyone knows that carbon lacks the plush feel and the oozing machismo that only solid gold possesses.

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

>:( DAMN ROADIES ALWAYS STEALING OUR IDEAS!!!

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Yeah... but that road bike is probably the closest thing any of us could afford.

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

I can just imaging bunny hopping an inch and ripping the BB out of that thing on the landing

[sizlinseagulsoup]

That would be the best top-tub nutting story ever told.

[Mt.A TODD]

???

[Big Game]

Todd -- Your prototype is pretty good (and I appreciate your effort involved) but honestly, it won't work at all.

The top tube length is much too short.

Better luck next time.

[Big Game]

I just read my last post there and I realize I am in some serious need of sensitivity training. Todd, I apologize. Your input is always valued.

So get this: I was watching the Antiques Road Show last night and they were showing a comparison of two different silver ladles. One was made by Paul Revere and the other was a rip off. Well, anyway, they said one way to tell the phony from the real deal is that the original was rather flimsy and the fake one was stiff. The reason is that silver is a stiff metal and the fake one had more silver than the Revere one. So this got me thinking. Our problem right now is that we're dealing with a very soft metal. Obviously silver would make for a stronger bicycle. So, do you guys think we should build a solid silver bike first, and then build a solid gold bike? Or would that be a cop out, akin to "dumbing down" a trail when you can't ride it?

[gungywump]

Have you considered hiring a team of Italian Artisans to gold plate your bike. Like the torch on the Statue of Liberty or the dome of the Colt factory in Hartford. I know that's not going to impress the likes of Marilyn Magoo or the Solid Gold Dancer's but, some say beauty is only skin deep.

[Mt.A TODD]

Idiots, Our goal is a solid gold bike! Big game you let me down, Silver??? Hey, Hey I got an idea let's build it out of aluminum! Stick with the original plan GOLD! When I first heard of Big Game's plan I just thought he was just another wannabee James Bond Villain. But the more I thought about a solid gold bike, it was sheer brilliance! We, oops I mean Big Game would be able to CONTROL THE WORLD! I started to have my doubts when big game made a reference in a previous post that he had a day job. A day job?? how does a super villain have a day job? Now our fearless leader wants to switch gears and use silver? I am pulling out of this project, and starting my own "solid gold bike". As a bonus for anyone else who wants to defect, I will allow those involved to have Solid Gold Guns! The first meeting for the "real" solid gold bike will be held in my secret under water layer out in the gulf of Maine. Stand on any beech tomorrow night, turn on & off your NiteRiders, and I will pick you guys up in my sub. Have fun building your wussy Silver bike Big Game. I will rule the world!

[pk]

Ahhh, Todd@Mta, I like your twisted sense of humor!

Here's a sampling of the gold offerings from this year's Interbike.

8)

pk

[Big Game]

Big game you let me down



I didn't just let you down, I let everyone down. I let myself down.

My sincere and humblest apologies. I have strayed. There is lust in my heart and I have given into the cold temptation of silver.

The is only one metal pure enough for Our Eternal Dream and it is gold. Not "gold plate," mind you, but Solid Gold. To the core.

Oh Father, I have sinned.

I stand in front of you a pathetic shell of a man and beg you, don't give up on Our Dream even though I have forsaken you.

[EVIL BOTA]

Have you ever heard of the term"CRACK KILLS". You should stop smoking it. lmao...

[Big Game]

Have you ever heard of the term"CRACK KILLS".


Solid Gold may bend, but it will never CRACK!

[gungywump]

Seriously, shouldn't the goal be higher. Gold is too obvious too cliche. Why not Platimum or some other form of Unobtanium. Gold says "I'm compensating for some type of shortfall." It's too urban. Too Bling Bling. The way this is headed why not a diamond studded gold chain. Gold doesn't say class it screams trash. Like "I don't have a house, a car or a job but look at my sweet gold bike. What's that honey, you want to come home with me on my cool gold bike. O.K. but maybe we should go to your house." Platinum on the other hand is much classier. It requires one more in the know. Supermodels and the ultra-wealthy would appreciate it more than the common Street Pimp. Plus, Big Game you coul acheive more the look of your precious silver at twice the cost of the Gold bike.

I agree with Gumpy....Platinum is vogue....plus it weighs twice as much as gold so you would get a little extra 'burn' on the hills....

[Big Game]

Hey Mr. NOO and Grungywimp:

You guys are so right. Gold is soo stupid. What was I thinking. Platinum is so much cooler. A solid platinum bike will earn a lot of respect. That will really inspire the masses. In case you can't tell, I'm being sarcstic.

You pro-platinum people are a cancer (and I mean no offense to cancer). Your reverse-snobbery sickens me. Nothing beats Solid Gold. And if you don't shut up, I will beat in your brains with a deft "midas touch."

And you won't be able to sit down for a week.

Ha!

[gungywump]

I just read my last post there and I realize I am in some serious need of sensitivity training.

Big Game I think you said it best yourself. By the way along with the gold idea is the proclaiming yourself a "Big" something another way of compensating??

[Mt.A TODD]

Have you ever heard of the term"CRACK KILLS". You should stop smoking it. lmao...


I am back on your side Big "G"! I have modified my golden guns to shoot hollow tip CRACK bullets. A small tube extends from the side of the slide up to the nostrils of shooter. This change was made to conserve gold and give shooter an extra high, no need to shoot gold bullets, we need them for the bike. I hate to resort to violence, but I will defend the Solid Gold Bike to the end!

BTW: All of those who want to start production on the "REAL" solid Gold Bike don't forget to stand on the beech tonite and flash your lights. The weather is pretty crappy but once we are under the sea in my big bubble workshop it is pretty comfortable. I have constructed 5 gold spoke nipples and a gold crank bolt, feel free to pack a dinner, but we will probally have a clam bake or raid some lobster traps with the sub. See You Later! One step closer to world domination!

I just read my last post there and I realize I am in some serious need of sensitivity training.

Big Game I think you said it best yourself.

Hey Gungagulunga,

What gives? You back on the Gold Bike bandwagon or sticking with Platinum? I am concerned the Todd has brainwashed you much the same way he has dupped Big Game. I sense a mystical spell that breeds contempt and ill-fated thoughts towards anyone who dares to think outside the "Gold" box...I for one won't have it! The'Goldies" have now resorted to violence - a neanderthalic approach (sorry IAB)which is indicative of the whole gold idea in the first place...

A Platinum bike is a chance to be ahead of the curve...go where no one else has gone. A Gold Bike is passe'. Platinum affords us the opportunity to increase the breadth and depth of our sophisticated coolness at a pace unparelleled in the Gold World...

One problem: what if the feeble minded think our bike is white gold?

[gungywump]

I agree with Gumpy....Platinum is vogue....plus it weighs twice as much as gold so you would get a little extra 'burn' on the hills....



NOO let the Goldmembers manufacture their bike. We'll build the Platinum bike. In a head on crash we'll squash them into a pile of molten gold that only Mel Fisher would be interested in. Actually, if their workshop is on a sub Mel Fisher might already have them in his sights.

We need not be concerned with the "Feeble Minded" as we only need to impress those in the know. The "Feeble Minded are the ones that will be impressed with the gold bike.

[Big Game]

A Gold Bike is passe'.

Saying passe is passe. But I should be more forgiving. As NOO be struck with "platinum fever."


As my pappy always told me:

"Once a man get a taste for platinum, (a.k.a. "Fool's Lead") a man just ain't the same. He start lookin' at everythin' and e'vry body d'ffrent. S'ppose don't make no sense to me no howse anyway. Now fetch me my vittles, boy"

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Actually platinum is currently bling bling and gold is out. Therefore I still feel we should make a GOLD bike because it would bring back a dying trend instead of going with the flow!

[gungywump]

A Gold Bike is passe'.

Saying passe is passe.



Big Lame I think you are the one who is confused. You're putting words in my quotes that were not uttered by me. I haven't used the P word in any of my posts. I called it Cliche. I called it Bling Bling. I even called it urban. But not P****.

[Big Game]

Hey girlychump,

Listen, you sound like you got a lot of flava. But what is yo beef with Solid Gold?

Don't you know platinum is for blondes and wedding bands?

[gungywump]

Honestly Big Dame, I'm not trying to beg here but, your brakes are working great and my pockets have yet to be lined with the green I need to get the Platinum Bike off the ground.

Thanks for helping my cause.

Oh, and the idea about the Platinum Blonde to mount my steed is well noted. You're a scholar and a gentleman.

[Big Game]

Oh, and the idea about the Platinum Blonde to mount my steed is well noted.


Any excuse to get your mother in the act, eh?

Wow, a don't this this is safe for work any more.

[gungywump]

Hey now! This is a family forum. Slinging Mud isn't going to help sway people to your cause. I won't degrade myself with the plethora of obvious retorts to your assault on my family.

Platinum Bike - All Mothers welcome.

[Big Game]

I won't degrade myself by defending my honor



Nice come back!

[gungywump]

I feel sorry for you Big Mame. You've obviously lost focus. Better let Todd@MtA take over the project to build the Gold Bike.
Anyone else who is interested in leadership with some true class can join NOO and myself on the Platinum Bike project.

All Platinum blondes and mothers welcome.

[Big Game]

Do not attempt to undermine my authority. The solid gold bike is going very well. Morale at the factory here is very high. It's almost done. I'm about to start writing bonus checks because the team (note: Gameyrump, there is no "U" in team, which only explains part of our success) is doing such a fantastic job. And you know who I'm going to let ride it when it's complete?

Everyone except you, Gunkywous. (and the knucklebuster, for obvious liability reasons, of course).

[gungywump]

I don't think knucklebuster actually rides.
But, he's welcome on the Platinum Bike team for cleaning and polishing duties.

Platinum Bike - All mothers, Platinum blondes, and knucklebusters welcome.

Platinum Bike - All mothers, Platinum blondes, and knucklebusters welcome.


Wumpass-

I've been out hustling today but glad to see you've done an excellent job evangelizing the Platinum pride. I did manage to meet with engineers from Northern St. Copius over lunch, they assured me they can blend the mud shedding composite onto our bike so as to keep it looking real, and of course clean. But don't fret, we still have open jop reqs for the likes of the one who calls himself knuckles. He might be well suited for our merchandising group given his unwavering attention and care for detail....since platimum matches platinum there will be not 'parts matching' issues. We also need to talk about whether we will offer a "ghetto" model intro level type platinum bike...it would have some shortcuts...for instance it would have a GOLD front and rear der., dropouts, seatpost, stem and be spec'd with something other than the platinum based tires Hutchinson is making for us....

We are well underway...codeword: The cow flew over the moon.

[gungywump]

Excellent Noo!
You have done well! I have managed to secure some solid PLATINUM DT Champion Spokes.
I dunno 'bout dat ghetto bike. Might be Dumming Down the the bike too much. Remember we're going for a more sophisticated and knowledgable clientelle.

Also in light of Big Shame's views on women's mountainbike ability:

PLATINUM BIKES - All WOMEN, Platinum blondes, mothers and knucklebusterhampsterdumperthunderhumpers welcome. 8)

Also in light of Big Shame's views on women's mountainbike ability:

PLATINUM BIKES - All WOMEN, Platinum blondes, mothers and knucklebusterhampsterdumperthunderhumpers welcome. 8)


Your Gumpness-

Indeed all women are welcome to Platinum bikes....Hill climbers or not...Originally I was thinking of dragging my ass to CT-Nemba fest (2 states away mind you)..for a promotional event where I get beat on the hill climb by the women and show Platinum bikes support for equality (I then challenge Big Dump to a climb off and give him a taste of Quadzilla!)...However, I will returning from a trip across the pond that weekend (Perhaps I speak to Tony Blair about Platinum Bikes) and will not make the festivities....additionally I wil miss the nembafest this weekend due to family commitments..

Tally Ho my good man (and woman)!

[EVIL BOTA]

The weather must be crappy or we have way to much time on our hands..The spam for this post is out of control..lol

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

:o I'll give someone a quarter to ride a bike made of cast-iron up Mount Washington in NH.

[Big Game]

Somedays, it seems like the world is an angry place. You say one thing (ok, more like 35 things) and you have people all angry at you. Well, on days like that it is nice to come home to a solid gold bike. While I might not have a wife or a girlfriend, my solid gold bike gives me the love and affection I so sorely need on days when it seems like the whole world is against me.


Note to Bkr-Duuude: If you can find me a cast-iron penny farthing to ride, I take ride up for 25 cents. But, (and correct me if I'm wrong) I believe the road (which is private) is only open to bikes 1 day a year for the road race climb. And the entry fee is like $400 (which you'll have to reimburse me for, biker dude).

And note further to those who throw rocks, when you should really be throwing hugs and kisses:

Some people would even say that a woman won the Mt. Washington hill climb this year. (It's true, I read about it on the internet...she beat everyone...including all of the men)

But I wonder if that woman knows she is a woman? Because, according to some (who weren't being sarcastic, using satire, etc.), women don't have the "Strength and stamina," to beat men. You'd have to see another unmentionable post to see who actually said that. But I'm sure that person is still terribly unaware of his or her own prejudice.

Hmmm. Makes you really wonder exactly who is caught-up in antiquated stereotypes: One who pokes delicious fun at those stereotypes or the person who still believes that are operative.


Once again, Big Game has proven why he is a hero to so many. And Big Game thanks you for your support.

[gungywump]

Big Game they say you can never go home again. This may be a good case. Whereas your fellow Gold Diggers may condone your actions we here at PLATINUM BIKES condemn them. I think in your exhaustive search for gold you have resorted to alchemy and it's killing you. The delerious nature of your postings for the past week reveal a truly demented mind. The gold that is poisoning your body and mind have twisted your world view into one resembling a Hieronomous Bosch painting.
Lay Off The Gold! Platinum is Safer!

PLATINUM BIKES- All Women, Mothers, Platinum Blondes, and knucklebusterwhoosywhatsits welcome.

I think in your exhaustive search for gold you have resorted to alchemy and it's killing you.

“He wondered by what Alchemy it was changed, so that what sickened him one hour, maddened him with hunger the next” (Marjorie K. Rawlings).

[gungywump]

NOO Knows Best!

[Big Game]

If gold really makes you go crazy then why does my dentist fill my cavities with gold and not platinum?

And another thing, why does my dentist have to knock me out with the gas for every procedure...even a teeth cleaning? Why is he smiling so much when he puts the mask over my face? Is he just a happy guy or is something else going on? Why does he have a video camera in the room? Are my teeth really that exciting?

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

Any chemists out there? would lube destroy the gold finish?

[gungywump]

I just wanted to bring Solid Gold back to the top.

PLATINUM RULES!!

[Big Game]

O.K. I'll be honest with you. I really haven't built my dream yet. Getting the required amount of gold is proving quite the obstacle.

After some serious brainstorming with my people (or do I mean brainwashing?) I have come up with a brilliant idea. But we need your help. And you can get loaded and help us acquire gold at the same time.

All I need, is for you and everyone you know to save the gold flakes found in ever bottle of Goldschlager schnapps. Just ask your friendly neighborhood bartender to strain out the gold flakes before you throw back your shot. That way, you can save all the flakes, instead of having them pass through your digestive tract and ultimately into the Atlantic Ocean, your septic tank, or other misc. sh*thole.

And please, while I am desperate for gold, I am not so depsarate for the flakes that you have already "passed through."

Unless, of course, we can get Knucklebuster to volunteer for the cleaning squad.

[fatire]

i have read with interest the thousnds of words about this intriging project.

if etting enoughreal gold is proving to ba an obstacle then i recommend building it out of columbian gold.

this should be easier to procure (although not much) but much less expensive.

now i know what you will say, either "gee, what's that"
in which case your far younger (or less hip) then I think....
or "gee, i can't quite see a bike like that coming together!"

well if the later, worst case is true... and knowing the unbelieveably talented team of brain surgeons big game has assembled i have no doubt that the obvious material property problems can be overcome in the lab....but let's just say they couldn't.......

you can always smoke the parts.

[Big Game]

if etting enoughreal gold is proving to ba an obstacle then i recommend building it out of columbian gold.

you can always smoke the parts.


Columbian gold? What's that? Some sort of Coffee?

I'm afraid I'm not that hip. My parents wouldn't let me (and still won't let me) watch any T.V. except Mr. Rodgers, so I am woefully out of touch with popular culture.

But I do remember one early episode in which Mr. Rodger's went to visit some kind of farm in South America. It was about this plant that could be grown easily, be used for making strong ropes and used for medicinal purposes.

I can't recall everything, but I do remember Mr. Rodger's went into a small hut with the farmer. Later, he came back out walking really really slow, and started laughing at his cardigan. Then Mr. Rodger's announced that it was "time to go to the Land of Make Believe."

The little trolley ding dinged a little slower, and I noticed it was painted all these wild colors.

In the Land of Make Believe, we met a new character, Panama Red, who was eating all the towns people's potato chips and was saying things like "Wow, aren't these like the best potato chips you've ever eaten?"

[fatire]

oh big game, i'm sorry......
thought that big goofey smile of yours ;D was cannibis induced...
and that you would know to what rare material i was referring.
my mistake, okay it was a stupid idea anyway.
(i'm still learning you know, i mean look at my pic!).

btw .......
to the thousands following this thread, one of you must need a good deal on a xc shock s check out my ad.

self promotion over

[Big Game]

to the thousands following this thread, one of you must need a good deal on a xc shock s check out my ad.


Are you serious? You're selling your 2003 RockShox Sid Team for only $450? Are you nuts? I heard that in order to get one you had to know someone at the factory or be willing to pay a premium of $500 over list. And don't tell me that it only ways 2.87 lbs. Because if that's true, you can make a light-weight racing bike out of any rig!


I think I know why you're seliing for so low. It was probably you're wife's fork, right? And she just left you high and dry when she fell in love with a lobsterman, right? So she told you tell sell it and to give her half of whatever you sold it for, right? And because you are such a spiteful, petty man, you are selling it for this ridiculously low price, that way you'll only have to give her $225.


How do I know this? Well, I'm doing the same thing. My old lady left me for a meter maid and now I'm selling her Noleen air shock for only $150. I know I could get a lot more for it, but it will be worth it just to see her face when I only give her 75 bucks.

[nhiker]

Ok to answer a few different issues on this gold bike.....
1) This is really a novelty bike so, Spun gease filled gold and maybe bronze bushings could be used.....instead of bearings.

2) No lube or nothing short of nitric acid will hurt the finnish.
Gold is a noble element and will not oxidise.

3) You said we could use 14kt, Well that is Gold with other metals mixed in basically to give the gold structural integrity. So we could used this same idea to strengthen the frame and to create a springy gold for the seat rails and fork.

4) How about gold tube wheels with a sort of Gold nugetized tire surface.

[fatire]

to the thousands following this thread, one of you must need a good deal on a xc shock s check out my ad.


Are you serious? You're selling your 2003 RockShox Sid Team for only $450? Are you nuts? I heard that in order to get one you had to know someone at the factory or be willing to pay a premium of $500 over list. And don't tell me that it only ways 2.87 lbs. Because if that's true, you can make a light-weight racing bike out of any rig!


I think I know why you're seliing for so low. It was probably you're wife's fork, right? And she just left you high and dry when she fell in love with a lobsterman, right? So she told you tell sell it and to give her half of whatever you sold it for, right? And because you are such a spiteful, petty man, you are selling it for this ridiculously low price, that way you'll only have to give her $225.


How do I know this? Well, I'm doing the same thing. My old lady left me for a meter maid and now I'm selling her Noleen air shock for only $150. I know I could get a lot more for it, but it will be worth it just to see her face when I only give her 75 bucks.


Geeze, had I known all that I'd have raised my price !
Naah, they're out on the web and stuff.
Now the Fox T.A.L.A.S. that's another story, 16 weeks away from production shipments!

And no the wife's not runnin off with Bert yet, although if she had a f'n clue of what i spend on bike parts she'd be out the door.

[xtrxtlx]

Check out ebay, "khs" search, "khs steel frame with fork/race face seat post

[MissJean]

Have you given any thought as to what you will wear when you are riding your solid gold bike? With something as spectacular as a solid gold bike, I don't think you would want to wear the usual baggies and a tee shirt.

[fatire]

fattie thinks a gold lamay elvis type suit is warranted.
also gold sun glasses possibly encrusted with rhinestones
and of course a gold shiny helmet.

[Z]

I would have guessed Fattie would want to wear Paolo Pezzo in her gold spandex. Maybe not!

Back to more important things... about the Colombian gold. What's the best manufacturing method? Welding obviously wouldn't work (although I wouldn't mind testing it out just to make sure). Rolling?

In any case, you'd better have lots of extra energy bars on hand, you're liable to get the munchies.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

I think we should go all out and make a solid-gold robot that rides the bike for us.

[boingboing]

Yea Kevin your right
If this bike were solid gold it would probably collapse under its own weight let alone if someone tried to ride this thing. an alloy with a high gold content would be needed or even better ;would a gold plated bike be an option???? Then we could have the strength of an aluminum frame and take this bad boy out on the trails. It will keep the cost down as well. raising 900 grand for the golden bike could be quite the pain in the ass. Ok anyway what we could do is take an existing bike and have each part plated individually. This would give us a wheelset that could support the bike as well as a rider and a chain that would not snap on the first crank. This could also solve our bearing issue. we would have to look at a smaller bearing set because they will end up with a larger circumfrence after the plating. I think hydraulic disc brakes would be key as well. this 100 # monster could really get some momentum on the down hills. What do we want to use for cable casings tubes and tires. I guess we could just use gold grips and a seat. Hell who wouldnt wanna park their ass on a golden seat? If we could get a plating outfit interested in the cause we could probably score a deal. Any electronic component manufacturer would have a dipping tank large enough to fit the frame into............. Bonger
Oh and I am an engineer. I can make this happen........

[boingboing]

Oh wow I responded to the golden Bike too soon with all this plating talk. But hey, It will work. Platnum????? No way I would not want some joker to mistake the bike for a typical polished aluminum ride. The gold makes a statement. Maybe in time we could build the platnum bike. After we become famous for building the golden bike there would be a broader interest and intern more donations. Then build the more expensive platnum bike. Then we can do trail testing and race the two against each other. Bong

[fatire]

I would have guessed Fattie would want to wear Paolo Pezzo in her gold spandex. Maybe not!


Fattie likes this idea (or even just the thought) very much and will now be searching the internet all day long for such a picture!
(thanks a lot z, i can blame today's home office inefficiencies on YOU!) ;)

[Mt.A TODD]

A piece of turd dipped in chocolate, is still just a piece of turd!

Solid Gold, no shortcuts!

As far as what the rider will wear. My first thought was a solid gold suit of Medieval armor, but I fear this would be too hot to pedal in. So perhaps we can get all you guys hard up for platinum involved. How about downhill, freeriding armor and fullface helmet made of solid platinum?

[fatire]

A piece of turd dipped in chocolate, is still just a piece of turd!


hey toddy,
nice metafore there!
btw, if yu were reffering the the italian mtb goddess,
you can tell me to eat s__t anytime!

[Billy]

Check out ebay, "khs" search, "khs steel frame with fork/race face seat post
You found a gold bike!

[fatire]

Check out ebay, "khs" search, "khs steel frame with fork/race face seat post
You found a gold bike!

fattie is very dissapointed with xtr's reading skills.
the add clearly states "steel frame".
as todd points out, a turd by any other cover, is still a turd!

[sizlinseagulsoup]

Practically, that is as close to a gold bike that we will ever get. Unless Gates joins NEMBA.

[xtrxtlx]

Check out ebay, "khs" search, "khs steel frame with fork/race face seat post
You found a gold bike!

fattie is very dissapointed with xtr's reading skills.
the add clearly states "steel frame".
as todd points out, a turd by any other cover, is still a turd!
Speaking about reading skills,FF, read my answer to your question under: "If I only had a brain".

[fatire]

Fattie will do so right now!

Fattie went back and all he could find is that he never answered you with what kind of sus post he uses?

did he miss somethin else?

and BTW, Fattie was only keeping the "purity" theme alive that was started by the golden bike's creator!

[xtrxtlx]

Fattie will do so right now!

Fattie went back and all he could find is that he never answered you with what kind of sus post he uses?

did he miss somethin else?

and BTW, Fattie was only keeping the "purity" theme alive that was started by the golden bike's creator!
No. That was the post. As for "purity" read Kevin Montgomery's reply a few posts up.

[Big Game]

As far as what the rider will wear. My first thought was a solid gold suit of Medieval armor, but I fear this would be too hot to pedal in. So perhaps we can get all you guys hard up for platinum involved. How about downhill, freeriding armor and fullface helmet made of solid platinum?


I think it will depend on the rider. For instance, if I was riding it, I think a tux would be appropriate. If a tux was not available, a t-shirt tux would be suitable. A red feather boa too.

[knucklebuste]

Jesus Christ, I can't believe that this solid gold **** has made it to 7 pages. God Damn. End it. There is never going to be a gold bike. It's too malleable and out of the question. Forget about it. Knuckle

[sizlinseagulsoup]

http://www.thestaticnetwork.com/images/blah/uglycat.jpg
RAWWWRRR!!!

[fatire]

http://www.thestaticnetwork.com/images/blah/uglycat.jpg
RAWWWRRR!!!


The Fatire Freak echo's pussy's words.

Ignore KnuklePimple and keep the SGB thread alive!

I have Paoloa or whatever her name is almost talked into test riding the prototype.

Ahhhhh. Big Game, Todd, the prototype's almost ready isn't it???

[Mt.A TODD]

Ok the third person thing, Fattie This and Fattie That..... are you ok Steve?

[boingboing]

Jesus Christ, I can't believe that this solid gold **** has made it to 7 pages. God Damn. End it. There is never going to be a gold bike. It's too malleable and out of the question. Forget about it. Knuckle
I hear ya Knuckle cracker There can't be a solid gold bike. Thats why I tried to sell ya all on the plated version a few posts back. Hell if it wasn't a machanical phantasm Elvis's Cadillac would have been solid gold. But he had to go with the plated version instead. He was still cool havin the golden caddy. Then the bike would be strong enough to hold the rider with the solid gold Midevil armor. Bong

[Big Game]

I just feeling a little nostaglic about this post. Do remember the good times we shared? The laughs. The arguments. And best of all, the make-up sex.

But I don't wish to dwell upon the past. We must think about the future.

I see that Fatire suggested we get Paola to test-ride our solid gold bike. That sounds like a superb idea. Does anyone know her? If Paola is not available because she is "afraid" of "crazy" people, then is there anyone else you would suggest?

[Z]

I see that Fatire suggested we get Paola to test-ride our solid gold bike. That sounds like a superb idea.


Hey, let's get this straight. Who suggested it? Fattie is just following up on someone else's most excellent suggestion! :P (That would be me) Let's make sure the right person gets credit here. ;D

Oh, that doesn't mean I actually know her personally. Sorry.

Thanks for rekindling this thread, Big Game, I was feeling a bit unfulfilled recently and I didn't know why. I'm feeling better now!

[gungywump]

I hate to break it to y'all but the reason you can't get Paola is that she has been working on a special HillClimb version of the Platinum bike. She came over to our side right about the time B.G. alienated all the women (outside the state of Vermont) in the world. She has abandoned that whole gold thing with her image and now prefers platinum. She won't even consider riding in the next Olympics unless they add Platinum to the medals, top step of course. I hope you guys can find someone else to help promote your wares, but as a consolation you'll be happy to know that I can get you all a sweet deal on the new PLATINUM PAOLA clothing line coming out. If you send a SASE I'll see if I can get her to sign something for your walls.

[gungywump]

BUMP!!

For old times sake!

[sizlinseagulsoup]

You have no idea how scared I was when I saw this back on the top with the "new" button next to it. Then seeing my ugly cat with the "rawr" text underneath scared me even more.

[NEMBA_bkr-dude]

let's buy these, they are on sale at web cyclery

I don't know about a "Solid Gold" bike, but you might want to look into gold plating instead. I have an old BMX bike with 24k gold plated parts (it's a replica of a bike that was made in the mid-80's) and the finish is pretty sweet. Check it out:

Here are the cranks/pedals:
http://www.sinisterbikes.com/bmx/hutch/hutchbk6.jpg

The stem:
http://www.sinisterbikes.com/bmx/hutch/hutchbk9.jpg

The seat post clamp:
http://www.sinisterbikes.com/bmx/hutch/hutchbk5.jpg

And the complete bike:
http://www.sinisterbikes.com/bmx/hutch/hutchbk.jpg

The entire bike could have been plated, it would have cost a small fortune, but it can be done.

Good luck!

[CouchingTiger]

Bill,

You are a sick, sick man.

-Couch

Thanks Mike! ;)

[Big Game]

I think some real breakthroughs are being made.

While I can't say I am a fan of gold plated bike parts (or a gold-plated bike), I do think gold-plate is a valuable tool for inspiration. We can truly visualize what some of our finished dream will look like. This is most helpful, especially while nay-sayeers beg us to abandon our Destiny.

Looking at the above pics, I admit it...I would say I'm a little turned on, even though I know that the beauty of the gold veneer is only skin deep. But join me as my heart begins to race as I allow my imagination to run a little and place my royal arse upon a solid gold saddle attached a true solid gold bike. That is the definition of true love.

So now, back to the status of the bike. Brace yourself: We suffered a setback. My mom threw away all off my gold I was saving for the bike. I don't know why I kept it in the basement (I figured it was safe next to my sister's NKOTB memobilia). But it was spring cleaning time and out it went.
I really can't be angry with her as Dr. Phil says that it really turns a girl off to see a son yell at his mom (and I don't need anymore strikes against me). So I must contain my rage, and appear to be calm (even though deep down I'm a raging Knucklebusta). I had about 46 ounces of gold, which was a great start. But now I have nothing. So all I have to do is start all over again.

Which actually isn't much of a problem. You see, I heard a rumor that Saddam has a secret stash of gold hidden somewhere in Iraq. All I need to do is fly over there, meet up with my screwball friend who is a tank commander and sneak behind enemy lines to a hidden lair and grab it before the US Army does. My screwball friend is already on board with the solid gold bike idea so he agreed to donate his share to the cause. Hmmm. Now I'm thinking, we'll have enough gold to build a fleet of solid gold bikes...that will be something. So anyway, my dilemma now is how to fly into Baghdad International Airport. Judging by what I'ver seen on the news, it doesn't look like first class service is being offered. And as you know, Big Game never flies coach. It's first class or no class at all.

Now, because I've been talking about serious mountain biking issues this entire time, I've decided to lighten up my reply with something completely irrelevant, yet I think is pretty funny.

It is a true story involving me, Gungywump and NKOTB. Gungy and I have a buddy whose name is Joe McIntyre. Serious (We all went to high school together and have been continuing the mayhem until this present day). So anyway, back in high school, Joe (to imagine our toehoed friend, think of a 16 year-old half Spicoli/half Ricky Schroeder always getting in trouble for sneaking up on the school roof to retrieve is hacky sack) comes up to Gungy and me and is like "Dudes, I don't get it, I have all these really young girls calling me and asking 'Is this really Joe McIntyre?' and then I'd say yeah, then they would giggle and hang up and what the hell is going on and I'm figuring it is you guys screwing around so just knock it off."

Gungy then has the magical breathrough and related to Joe that he and the little one from the New Kids on the Block shares the same name. Actually, it didn't take too much of a breakthrough, Gungy just looked as it his NKOTB Trapper Keeper to deduce the reason why these young giggling girls called out good friend Joe McIntyre.

Oh yeah. If you're trying to learn to wheelie drop, drop your seat! It is very difficult to develop a good form with your seat raised in a cross-country position.

Your pal,

Big Game

[nhiker]

Hey Big Game, if you really want to get into Iraq....Get yourself a press pass and fly into jordan or Saudi A. and rent a nice mercedis so you look like you belong there and still get to ride in comfort. I mean every other reporter on the planet is getting across that border so it cant be all that hard.
Good Luck
And keep your head Down
Nhiker

[Mt.A TODD]

Nice try Bill, it's a great visual prototype- BUT IT AIN"T NO SOLID GOLD!

Didn't Donny Walburg go to Iraq during the first Gulf war for a successful gold heist? Perhaps we can use this Joey McIntyre of yours Big Game. How about we organize reunion tour to celebrate the Liberation of Iraq! It would be a charity raising concert, but the fake Joey and the experienced Donny cold use their credentials to sneak into the gold vault while all the young Iraqi boys are being swooned by NKOTB's fancy dance moves and Reggae style "Free Free Iraqi"song. We would escape into the oily sunset, BOB trailers full of gold.

crap....it was Marky and the funky bunch that stole all that gold!

[Big Game]

Right now, our company has put in a bid on an contract for the rebuilding of Iraq (we're a shoe-in, my uncle was a fellow chug-meister with W at TKE). So things are looking pretty rosy right about now. Not only are we going to get the gold for the bike (for free), we also going to have great seats for the NKOTB 1st reunion show, we are also actually going to get paid for setting up our solid gold bike factory in Iraq. This is just incredible. Life is wonderful. Simply wonderful.

And it gets better. My personal predator drone has relayed to me, in real time, video of northern Iraq singletrack. It is looking pretty sweet! Nice and dry!

I got to get to packing. Let me know if your in.

Your pal,

Big Game

[pk]

Nice and pimpy, eh?

pk

[Chris_T]

It would be cheaper to pick up girls in a Ferrari.


or two or three...

Gary Fisher built a gold-PLATED bike for Paola Pezzo a couple years back, still visible on the front page of http://www.fisherbikes.com

[Big Game]

Nice and pimpy, eh?

pk


So what do you got there PK...an "air chain?" While I am sure it is lightweight, its inherently ficitonal nature will largely nullify any utility, however slight, it can provide. Please, and I have repeatedly warned you, never tease me like this again. It is more than my heart can take.

As you know, I have been in talks with Paola about riding the Solid Gold bike. And here's the update: She refuses to ride for Team Solid Gold unless the top tube is dropped a la a women's frame. I explained to Paola that the only reason a women's frame has a dropped top tube was that women used to wear skirts and dresses when they used to ride bikes during the great bike craze of the 1890's and that the the lowered top tube made cycling much easier and much more "lady-like." And that for some strange reason, many people have paid a mindless tribute to this past trend of engendered bicycle frames, as they are too afraid to discard outdated stereotypes, and in the process, only serve to perpetuate those anacronistic myths, that inevitably become part of the litany of spoon-fed "wrongs and rights" they burden their children with, all because they were too timid to challenge the status quo.

As you can tell from my preceding run-on sentence of desperation, it wasn't going so well. So I went on and pointed out to Paola that she used to ride a so-called "men's" frame, apparently quite successfully, for Gary Fisher. She responded somewhat abruptly and said (with her adorable Italian accent) "That is the past... I am new Paola now."

Well, I'd love to accomdate her, but as we discussed, this frame will be too flexible as it is and lowering the top tube will make it way too flexy. I just think it would be unsafe. Perhaps I was too hasty (and I apologize if I was), but I told Paola we'd start looking for someone else.

So I need some new some suggestions here. And I know a lot of you have requested that I ride it (mostly because I paid a few of you 20 bucks to say so), but honestly, wouldn't you rather see a woman ride it? So would I.

While I agree that a Ferrari would be cheaper for picking up chicks (well at least the shallow airheads interested in equally shallow guys who know how to conspicuously consume), but because our Solid Gold monster will be so heavy and tough to pedal, perhaps we should look for a chick who can pick up a Ferrari.

Let me know who you come up with.


Your pal,

Big Game

[EVIL BOTA]

This has go to be a record for the longest running post?

[gungywump]

This has go to be a record for the longest running post?


A gold record??

OR

A PLATINUM RECORD??

[AA]

It looks like BG almost had the gold supply in his hands but it was intercepted by the military

http://www.boston.com/dailynews/143/wash/Officials_say_found_Iraq_gold_:.shtml

Perhaps you should have paid your "delivery men" more than $350

At the risk of sounding old fashioned, and perhaps paying a mindless tribute to a past trend of engendered bicycle frames, being too afraid to discard outdated stereotypes, and serving to perpetuate an anacronistic myth, that inevitably has become part of the litany of spoon-fed "wrongs and rights" I burden my children with, all because I am too timid to challenge the status quo, I must admit I like a girl in a skirt or a dress and if she wants to wear one while riding her mountian bike I am going to be there to stand up and support her right to express herself in whatever riding outfit she is confortable in even if it is shunned by the spandex / lycra fasion police majority who have succomed to the badgering of peer pressure, marketing hype or the politicaly correct dress code imposed by the Femin-nazis.

[sizlinseagulsoup]

http://www.nemba.org/yabbse/?action=stats

It looks like the record is "useless topic for increasing status."

[Z]

Big Game-
I would be honored to ride your solid gold bike, thanks for asking!
(Do I get to keep the bike when I'm done?)

Frankly, I'm a little surprised you asked Paola before me, but I'll forgive you. It must have been a temporary lapse in reason. Maybe you were distracted by her... accents - yeah, that's it, her Italian accents. Er, accent.

So, I'm starting to plan out my outfit. It would be nice if it coordinated with the bike. I guess based on your earlier post that long skirts are out, too. Any other wardrobe tips while we're at it?

[Big Game]

Big Game-
I would be honored to ride your solid gold bike, thanks for asking!
(Do I get to keep the bike when I'm done?)

Frankly, I'm a little surprised you asked Paola before me, but I'll forgive you. It must have been a temporary lapse in reason. Maybe you were distracted by her... accents - yeah, that's it, her Italian accents. Er, accent.

So, I'm starting to plan out my outfit. It would be nice if it coordinated with the bike. I guess based on your earlier post that long skirts are out, too. Any other wardrobe tips while we're at it?


Z, I'm the last guy you should ask for fashion tips. If it was up to me, I'd put every mountain bike chick in a G-string, patent leather boots (with time cleats, of course), and a red feather boa.

Yeah, Paola treated me real bad. I'm having a hard time forgetting about her, but as far as I'm concerned she's out and I think we'd all be honored if you rode it. Yes, the job is all yours! I hope you're up to it. The frame has a 17 inch seat tube and 20 inch top tube. Does this work for you? Let me know.

Your pal,

Big Game

P.S.: It might be ready in time for the Piggy Roast and Ride. Just keep hoping and maybe your dream will come true.

[johnbryanpeters]

Dear Big Game,

You should not have trouble forgetting about Paola after the PFL. We do not normally consider repeat treatments, but in your case we think it is fully justified. We reiterate that we operate only with solid gold instruments.

YH&OS,

Dr. Bifurcate :P

[T Grimble]

It appears as though Trek has been monitoring this forum. The idea of a gold bike was so good that they built one and put Lance on it for his final ride into Paris. Anybody find any pics?

[cgrimble]

I saw this in an AP article this morning ...... "$10,000, carbon-fiber, 24-carat, gold-leaf-adorned model "

Claire

[Luckybikes]

Lances biek is worth more than my ruck then again my own bike is worth more than my truck hehe

[C.P.]

It appears as though Trek has been monitoring this forum. The idea of a gold bike was so good that they built one and put Lance on it for his final ride into Paris. Anybody find any pics?


Heres a shot

[splat]

here is another shot of it.
http://www.cyclingnews.com/photos/2004/tour04/stage20/live/CH9320.jpg

[Big Game]

I don't know guys...it just ooks like Lance's bike is slathered in black gold...you know bubblin' crude, Texas tea, derrick juice,

[gungywump]

Chris King headset though. The PLATINUM standard anong headsets. I guess the GOLD standard Bontrager just isn't good enough for Lance.

[Big Game]

...Hummer Crack, Saudi Sauce, Alaskan Beach Blanket, Venezualan Chowder...

[sizlinseagulsoup]

mmmm why are the two pictures different? Where are the gold spokes?

[sizlinseagulsoup]

http://bicycleretailer.com/bicycleretailer/headlines/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1000601302


SRAM and Rockshox on the trend...

[Big Game]

Obviousely, they want the USA to lose...a recent scientific report I'm writing states, and I quote:

"Solid Gold has demonstrated again and again to have excellent fatigue resistence. On the Tihs-Llub Scale, it rates the highest out of any other material --- 130 out 134. While it is true that if not engineered properly, Solid Gold components may weigh slightly more than aluminum, scadium and carbonfiber, however, the sheer lustitude and karmetic efficiency easily surpasses its rivals in total available free dymanoids."

So there it is people, proof that Solid Gold is the material of the future available now.

Too bad SRAM & Rockshox are too cheap (or perhaps, they simply don't feel the same patriotic call of duty that this humble author does) to give our atheletes the best. Oh well, the US always kicks arse in shuffleboard.

[iceman]

folks, I do believe that the root cause of this thread is the absorbtion through the helmeted portion of the body,of one too many ENDOS.....I wish you all god speed in your recovery. ;)lmao

[splat]

Bling Bling !!!


Here you go Big Game !!!

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