Favorite (or most absurd) TrailSide Quotes

[SteveC]

OK what's the most inspiring, absurd, goofy, helpful, genius, or profound quote you've heard while on the trail(or you've coined yourself).
Feel free to name names, or not, as I'lll only give a hint to this one, overheard from a rider who is well-known for his spontaneous remarks, while riding mostly Pine Hills or Cape trails............
Coming up on a couple, lean trail endurance runners, as they go by,

"Did ya LOSE your BIKES????!!!!"

I hadda hard time clipping back in. Wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at that one. I did want to disappear though.
SC

[aveski2000]

Not original, but we like it anyway.
"Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional."

[nhiker]

Ok I will throw myself under the bus with this one...before someone else does!

A bunch of guys were riding fomba and I was in a very unusuall location...the front. When we came upon a young woman going the other direction so I pulled over, as did a now ex-friend who was right behind me. Now spontaneously I inquired as to how many were riding with her so as to decide whether or not to stay put...In gasping breath it came out " Are you alone?" She just looked at me nervously and kept going! My friend peed his pants laughing his Ass off. And of course and was sure to share it with my wife when we got home. I still haven't lived it down. Occasionally my wife will pull up next to me on a ride and inquire dermurley "Are you alone?"

[heckler]

One of my all time favorites (said immediately prior to offering assistance)

When you come across a rider with a mechanical and NO tools: "Hey look, a hiker with a bicycle!"

[SteveC]

Or the Bill Boles Classic:

"Every bike comes complete with a hiker"
:)

[Slider]

This isn't in the laugh-riot category, but it comes to mind.

Came across a hiker-with-bike, clearly a newbie, walking out of the woods.
"Can I help with something?"

"Thanks, but no. Broke the chain..."

I did a quick fix for the guy, and I'm guessing he bought his own chain tool before the next ride.

Slider

[radair]

This is not funny either, but it seems absurd to me when people say, "I can't ride with you guys, I'm not experienced enough (or "I'm not in shape")."

Do they think they are going to get in shape or get experience sitting on the couch?

[If_Rider]

This came frome Steve_B who said he heard it from Tony Hawk on BikeRag I think...whatever, it's one of the best I've heard in a while!!

"Enhance your skill, not the trail."

[Dino Sore]

Quotes heard on the trail....

...before getting off the bike to walk a hard section - "Walking is faster than crashing"

...before hitting a rocky, washboard section of trail - "Time to scratch the hemmoroids!"

...before riding with young guys - "The older I get, the faster I used to be"

...before carrying some goober out of the woods - "Hey y'all, watch this!"

[Bikenow]

From a guy in our biking group: After taking a great over the bars crash and getting hit by my own bike on a steep tight switchback............Hey are you OK, Reply Yes, Response then get the F out of the way. Have you met Mr. Sympathy?

[juiceguy]

"you should see me when I ride alone "

i may have said it myself, but can't remember

[DAVID J]

Fast night ride,last downhill,stick in the front wheel,eat **** but good.My buddy rolls up and asks"Can I laugh yet?"

[trailburn]

From my son on, behind me on the tagalong as I'm grunting up a hill: "Dad, I'm not pedaling again."

Later that ride, after I returned the favor with a ride through a muddy rut at the edge of a recently fertilized field: "Dad, this mud tastes like cow poop."

[yardsale]

Famous last words:

"Hey -- watch this!"
"I haven't had a flat in 4 years -- I don't even carry a spare!"

[SteveC]

About mid-ride the ride leader announced,
"It's All Down Hill From Here!!"
--yeah right.

[Jisch]

One of my riding friends is in incredible shape. He is famous for despondently saying "this ride is over" when he feels that we are in the home stretch (meanwhile the rest of us are saying the same thing in our heads but with quite a different tone!).

Another common phrase on rides, trying to describe a particular section of trail (ultimately futile) "you know its that section of trail by the rocks and the tree".

John

[aveski2000]

One of my riding friends is in incredible shape. He is famous for despondently saying "this ride is over" when he feels that we are in the home stretch (meanwhile the rest of us are saying the same thing in our heads but with quite a different tone!).

Another common phrase on rides, trying to describe a particular section of trail (ultimately futile) "you know its that section of trail by the rocks and the tree".

John

I know exactly that section you’re talking about.

[kernel crash]

Be suspicious if the ride leader on a trail your not familiar with, suddenly pulls over and waves you through. He may say something like follow the obvious trail.

[bikapelli]

why is it, I put stickers on my bike to bandage the scratches, but the scratches on by body, I just let them bleed?

[SteveC]

Don't you love it, after a nasty fall, your buddy asks, "Is your bike OK?!" ( wouldn't want to slow the ride down with trailside repairs would we?:har: )

[btf95]

Favorite Quote....."PERRRFECT"


http://dieselbikes.com/media/video_shorts.htm

Click on the second one down "freeride 101 chapter 12"

[BigMac]

the trailhead is right on the top of that hill-(ten climbs later)......

[SteveC]

there's a member of the 'jackass' crew (no, not that one, they've been around way longer than the MTV one) who insists on yelling 'CLAIRE' at the top of his lungs at every intersection at Wompatuck early on a sunday morning..... Who the Hell is Claire?, I kept asking to myself......Took me awhile to realize he was yelling roadie-speak 'CLEAR', and not just at every intersection, really, but just when he felt like it, in an absurd, jackass kinda way. That's what I love about mountain biking. The personalities.....the humor......oh yeah, for ****'s sake, the fresh air, the church.......
SC,

[heckler]

"I'd rather be riding my bike thinking about God then sitting in church thinking about riding". Any given Sunday...

[SteveC]

"I'd rather be riding my bike thinking about God then sitting in church thinking about riding". Any given Sunday...

AMEN, Brother!

[Scott O]

At the Vermont 50 race a few years ago my buddy pulls up alongside another rider and asks him how he's doing. "Horrible!" the guy replies. "Really", my buddy says. "What's wrong". Guy tells him he has had horrible diarea today. Buddy answers, "Oh, well I hope that just mud on your legs." The guy was pissed!

[Jisch]

Yesterday I was riding up a gawdforsaken hill at Middlesex (there are many). Right near the top, where there's a nasty technical section - where you have to make a critical decision - either you put the hammer down and power over the section or get off and walk. Anyway, right at this critical point there are two hikers standing there - a guy and his wife along with their dog. I decide I can't very well get off my bike in front of these guys so I hammer. I'm dying. My heart rate is absolutely maxing out, I'm dripping buckets of sweat and gasping for air. The lady asks, "How you doing?".

I somehow blurt out "Not all that great at the moment".

She replies "Don't worry, you're doing GREAT!"

It was a weird moment where that little comment made me feel so much better. I made it up the hill and continued along my ride.

John

[splat]

From IF_rider to Me , after I made some Smart ass comment to Quo_fan. Making fun of the Black belt , real Smart

[Quo Fan]

I think the comment went something like "Taunt the 4th degree, real smart, John."

[jerseygirl]

(lost) I've been here before but I don't know where it is.......

[nhiker]

Recently....I was riding up a steep grueling rocky rooty section of trail at beaverbrook in Hollis NH and hit one of thier nasty 12" water-bars going up hill and I fell backwards. I rolled around on my back fighting gravity while trying to dislodge the bike....I was still clipped in. After a few nasty minutes of trying to do a situp laying downhill I got unclipped. As I got back on my bike I saw my buddy George leaning across his handle bars a little further up the hill. He had apparently witnessed the whole performance a few feet ahead while catching his breath. As I walked up to him he says "Are you done screwing around? I just nodded yes. "Then we can just walk the rest of this one." I had to laugh because it must have appeared as if the bike was kicking my ass.

[nhiker]

We were doing a bike tour a couple of weeks ago of Vermont. We rolled through one of the countless dairy farms past the farmers heard. One of the ladies said to the others did you see all of those cows. The other women said no she had been looking elsewhere. The leader of the ride said very dryly without missing a beat. "I think there is a good chance we will see more cows"

:) We did indeed see many-many more cows.