Continuation of "I can't make this stuff up." by Mr. Cheeze

[JimmyTwoTimes]

I'm sorry, I have to do it....but isn't it funny that CONDENSATION on the hospital window dried up once we had a stretch of sunny days...where are all the believers now?

Refer to "I can't make this stuff up." in this forum....

[Sky Pilot]

yeh, right on, how come the red sea isn't still divided?

[Jesus]

Jesus thinks Jimmy is trying to stir up trouble. Bad, bad Jimmy.

Jesus knows that Jesus' true believers need not a barely discernible effigy of Mom to remain believers.

Jesus does not stop enjoying Colt 45 Malt Liquor because the bottle is empty.

However, Mr. Pilot, Jesus must inform you that Moses did not actually part the Red Sea. Jesus thought you were intelligent. ???

[Phresh]

Jimmy is not trying to stir up trouble. He is simply pointing out how foolish those people appear to those of us who exhibit rational and sane tendancies. I suspect those folks have scurried off to some Bickford's on Rt 1 where the image of the Virgin Mary has been sighted on a stack of blueberry pancakes.

Jesus, answer me this: Why is it when a professional athlete wins they give all the credit to God, but when they lose it's because someone fumbled the ball? Shouldn't the Allmightly be on the hook for the loss as well as the win?

Enlighten me.

[Jesus]

Jesus must commend brother Phresh on his salient point concerning athletes thanking Dad for their successes. Newsflash, Dad is a Yankees fan. George Steinbrenner is immortal. They are the only team Dad helps... when Dad is feeling up to it. How could He not help the Angels win their first series last year. Jesus means, come on! They're the Angels for Jesus' sake. Everything else that happens in sports is by luck. Everytime some jackoff jock thanks "the Lord" for some achievement, Dad is like, "What did I do? What a yutz."

Dad hates hockey, and Jesus doesn't blame Him. He would rather watch schoolyard hoops. Jesus is talking some pure-assed mo-fo competition, boyeeeeeeeeee.

For the record, Jesus has $1500 on the Bucs repeating as Super Bowl Champs this year. Jesus knows, brothers and sisters. Jesus knows. ;)

What, you thought the Patriots were going to win again? Bah, ha ha!!! Bob Kraft sold his soul to win that year. The ref that made that "arm was in motion" call to erase the interception? Satan.

Krafty should have sold his soccer franchise. Oh well, hope he likes hell!

BTW, Jesus still gets a kick out of this "Virgin" Mary stuff. Jesus' real brother John, and real dad, Joe, would have gotten some hearty guffaws from the whole thing. Dad Joe needed his, too, you know.

Jesus hopes brother Phresh has been enlightened.

This Jesus post has been brought to you by...

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[Mr_Cheeze]

This is a continuation of what I started. Great. Thanks. :-\

[Phresh]

Brother Phresh is Red Sox fan who thinks George Steinbrenner is evil incarnate.

[knucklebuste]

And Knuckle thinks all sports (besides mtb'g) are the work of Satan, promoting alchoholism, Homer Simpson inspired guts, fighting and lack of attention to wives and girlfriends. Pure evil I say. But if you want to waste 4 hours sitting in your living room glued to the TV on a nice day, go nuts. If you want to waste your life looking at a computer screen doing FANTASY FOOTBALL, go nuts.

BAN FANTASY FOOTBALL

Kiss your wife.

knuck

[MissJean]

This was emailed to me, I got a chuckle out of it, and thought to myself, who else would appreciate this sort of thing? ;D

There were three good arguments that Jesus was black. (l) He called
everyone "brother"; (2) He liked Gospel; (3) He couldn't get a fair trial.

But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was
Jewish: (l) He went into His Father's business; (2) He lived at home
until he was 33; (3) He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother
was sure he was God.

But, there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
(l) He talked with his hands; (2) He had wine with every meal; (3) He
used olive oil.

But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was a
Californian. (l) He never cut his hair; (2) He walked around barefoot all
the time; (3) He started a new religion.

But, then there were three equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
(l) He never got married; (2) He was always telling stories; (3) He
loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all argues surprisingly that Jesus
was a woman. (l) He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was
no food; (2) He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men
who just didn't get it; (3) And even when he was dead, He had to get up
because there was more work to do.

Amen!!!