Mt.A TODD
July 18th, 2003, 11:03 AM
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MAINE WHEN:
You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
You've been in a boat and passed a moose.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
There's a skidder tire in your front yard with flowers planted in it... and it's painted orange.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is five feet above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
The Christmas lights never come off your house because it's hard to tell when winter is over.
There are stores with names like Muzzy's and Lew's.
You think everyone from "the city" has an accent.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You didn't know some relatives' real names until you were in your 20s.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
You find -40F a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your LL Bean boots.
You can play street hockey on ice skates.
You know the 4 seasons are: Almost Winter, Winter, Mud, and Blackflies.
You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
When it snows four inches you call it "a dusting."
Your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24 hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks everywhere in the county.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
You know how to pronounce Calais.
Fancy dinner- Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of Moxie.
You've gone to a Grange bean supper.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
Your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.
You wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from away.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
Your kids start using "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
You've ditched the car off the side of the road because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
If you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
If you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
When you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
You give directions to someone from "away" and intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.
You watch "Murder she Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
When a roll of Duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.
When you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.
When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
You actually miss the fifteen below zero mornings of winter that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect.
When the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.
When there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
You've been in a boat and passed a moose.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
There's a skidder tire in your front yard with flowers planted in it... and it's painted orange.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is five feet above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
The Christmas lights never come off your house because it's hard to tell when winter is over.
There are stores with names like Muzzy's and Lew's.
You think everyone from "the city" has an accent.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You didn't know some relatives' real names until you were in your 20s.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
You find -40F a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your LL Bean boots.
You can play street hockey on ice skates.
You know the 4 seasons are: Almost Winter, Winter, Mud, and Blackflies.
You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
When it snows four inches you call it "a dusting."
Your neighbor's house was foreclosed after an unlucky 24 hour mini-cruise on the Scotia Prince.
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks everywhere in the county.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
You know how to pronounce Calais.
Fancy dinner- Jordan's red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of Moxie.
You've gone to a Grange bean supper.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
Your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.
You wonder out loud if the state can just close its borders to people from away.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
Your kids start using "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
You've ditched the car off the side of the road because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
If you know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
If you know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
When you go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
You give directions to someone from "away" and intentionally led them in the opposite direction they wanted to go.
You watch "Murder she Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
When a roll of Duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint will get your car to pass inspection.
When you have to replace you mailbox yearly because of the town plow.
When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
You actually miss the fifteen below zero mornings of winter that have been eliminated by the greenhouse effect.
When the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck after you've had a wicked bring-up on a rock.
When there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.